By Ria Greiﬀ
Like all good intentions, this column’s path went straight to hell. As your mensch in the trench, my goal was to oﬀer a monthly column. Blame it on the chocolate, blame it on the green beer, but this item took two months to get here.
So break out your bump stocks, automatic rifles, silencers, Kevlar, and legislature, and throw them all away with abandon, cause ain’t nobody gonna do anything about them anyway and instead let’s talk about peak experiences.
Over the years, people have asked me to describe Burning Man. My response has always been, “The world’s A+ humans, bringing their A game (except you, you pieces of trash, who threw whole rolls of toilet paper into the potties at Tycho’s sunrise set in the Deep Playa).” My response fell short of describing how it felt, however — until now.
Have you heard about Maslow? Have you learned about self-actualization? Most likely you have, if you are reading this right now. But does the phrase “peak experience” roll oﬀ your tongue like a keto shake? It should, because that is what your Burn is all about.
A peak experience comprises transcendental moments of pure joy and elation. It involves a heightened sense of wonder, awe, or ecstasy with such an intensity of perception, depth of feeling, and profound significance that you wonder if you are having a psilocybin or MDMA ﬂashback; moreover, the memory of these moments is everlasting, like Sandra’s love (pronounced Sondra).
So take my words for it. If you are questioning whether you should come Home again in about 90 days, think of the GroundScore motto, “Just Say Yes!” (except you, you pieces of shit, who took apart art installations). Now go refresh your proﬁle on the website and get your ﬁne actualized self ready for the Burn!
Forever from the trenches – GroundScore
Editor’s note: for readers who do not speak fluent GroundScore, we offer the following elucidations:
Tycho is a San Francisco-based musician known for his DJ sets at sunrise. In 2017, he took the Dusty Rhino art car out and played a sublime two-hour set for what he called the, “absolute favorite morning of all time.” https://dancingastronaut.com/2017/09/ascend-alternate-dimension-tychos-uber-chill-two-hour-burning-man-sunrise-set/
Abraham Maslow was an American psychologist who was created Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, a theory of psychological health predicated on fulfilling innate human needs in priority, culminating in self-actualization. His biggest contributions to psychology were to humanistic psychology and the modern positive psychology movement. https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/abraham-maslow
Self Actualization is something you have already achieved if you have attended Burning Man, but just in case you are still wondering, it is the the realization or fulfillment of one’s talents and potentialities. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-doesnt-kill-us/201609/what-is-self-actualization
Keto Shake, the drink of choice for those committed to a ketogenic lifestyle. High in protein and fat but few if any carbohydrates to keep you in the ketosis zone to burn fat and build muscle. https://www.reddit.com/r/keto/wiki/faq
Psilocybin mushrooms, popular recreational psychedlics, have been shown in preliminary studies to be useful in treating depression and anxiety and alcohol dependence and in aiding smoking cessation. https://www.nbcnews.com/mach/science/will-psychedelic-therapy-transform-mental-health-care-ncna805466
MDMA (methylenedioxymethamphetamine) can be a pressed pill that is called Ecstasy or Rolls or it can be in a crystalline form called Molly. It is a psychoactive drug used primarily for recreation, The desired effects include increased empathy, euphoria, and heightened sensations. https://rollsafe.org/mdma/
Sandra Ann Lauer, commonly known by her stage name Sandra (German pronunciation: [ˈzandʁa] was a German pop singer who enjoyed mainstream popularity in the 1980s and early 1990s with a string of European hit singles, produced by her then-husband and musical partner, Michael Cretu, the Romanian–German musician, singer, songwriter, producer and founder and musician behind the German musical project Enigma. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandra_(singer)